What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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