nut hugger
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
