quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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