ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We are all done wearing pants today
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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