I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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