He had one of those small greek statue penises
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
