hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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