If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
