For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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