At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
