In the future we'll all be gay
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
