google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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