Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
