I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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