we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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