I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
