I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
