your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
