i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
