It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Randomize