I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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