let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
