she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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