I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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