In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
