Your tits are I can't wait for
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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