So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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