Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
