Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
