I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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