there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
