im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
So squirting runs in the family.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
