I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
