in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
