i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I am available for nakedness
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