im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
