oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
