i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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