when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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