Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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