Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
