Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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