I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
