i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
