I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize