Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
