I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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