I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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