He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
