is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
