Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize