Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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