i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
