Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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