Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize