my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
They should really pass out barf bags in church
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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