Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Boobs are out for the taking
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
