I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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