Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
