At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Randomize
