i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
