i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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