So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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