All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
