Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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