I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
