$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
