you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize