The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
