My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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