I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
