did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
