She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
